The very person who is extremely codependent can often flip into being the exact opposite, the person pushing someone away, called by therapists ‘counterdependency’. And often, within a codependent relationship, the two partners take turns being codependent and counterdependent!
Counterdependency is a label for people who refuse emotional attachment. They do this, refusing to need other people, by denying they have any needs in the first place and avoiding intimate situations as often as possible.
The Signs you are counter dependent:
*You suffer anxiety in close intimate relationships
*rarely ask others for help
*hide your insecurities from others
*show little awareness for the needs and wants of others
*tend to sexualise any affectionate touch
*like to always look good and be ‘right’
*often exhibit perfectionist behaviours, afraid to appear weak.
*cut off from your feelings.
Codependent people inevitably choose counterdependents to love, forming two sides of an unhealthy pattern.Then, when the codependent finally gathers the strength to try and walk away from the emotionally aloof counterdependent they are destroying themselves to try and win love from, what happens? The pattern sometimes totally switches! The once counterdependent panics and gets clingy, trying to hold on to the formerly codependent person who now might become cold and shut down, in other words, counterdependent.
Codependency is above all a mistaken seeking for love by those who have only ever been shown control when growing up and have therefore mistaken control for love.
While in some ways we have all shown codependent behaviours, to suffer from full codependency is different and is a real emotional and sometimes lifelong struggle that often requires therapy to overcome.
@jenniferwinget1 @minnie_rohilla 💞